Practice Notes

Using a mirror for Headstand made me realize I need to use my triceps more. I was away from the wall and didn't even think about being afraid of falling because I was so focused on opening the chest and pulling the shoulder away from the neck. This action really stabilized the pose. I'll have to focus on the legs next time.

Just Another Day Floating in California

I floated again this morning which is the second time I've floated. I went to the Iynegar Institute for a Level 3-5 2 hour class with a teacher by the name of Janet. The class went well, very well and was centered around Virasana. Janet's teaching reminded me of Kathleen because it was more about focusing on the actions of one or two poses instead of working on a variety of poses in order to warm up for a more intense pose. Patrina's classes are more like the latter and always involve Headstand and Shoulderstand. Both are good classes, but very different. Even though I only had 4 teachers (2 continuous and 2 for one day workshops), I really enjoyed Janet and she is probably one of my favorites. Patrina is great, but very competitive and intense which is exactly what I need, but can be very draining. It's too bad I live in Chicago and can't take advantaged of all the wonderful teachers the Institute has to offer. I've been thinking about taking classes to teach. There is a 1 year and 2 year program. Would be nice to start seriously considering it and asking my teacher if she thinks I'm ready and see if that is something I should do with my life.

So, floating went really good this time. Very subtle and mellow. Last time which was my first time ever floating was extremely intense. I faced so many fears like death and loneliness and questions about the meaning of life and time. I also got up 3-4 times while floating. I felt like I was in the womb or outer space. It was a definate trip. This time was nothing like that and I'm wondering if it had anything to do with Saturday night in Dolores Park. After that freak out, I felt so good and observant of everything, like life was what I made of it and I am completely in control of my actions, feelings, and choices. If I'm negative, so will be my life. I also felt like I was watching myself watching life which was intense on so many different levels. Yogis, philosophers are always talking about the third self or third eye and never understood it. I also faced me being so "uptight" and trying to let go. Could this be way my floating session was so mellow and chill? I was already ok and tackling some of the "heavy" stuff previous? I hope I take more out of the last few days instead of forgeting about it all once I go back home. I hope I can really let go and be ok. But I felt that way, in the tank. I felt so empty and calm.

Pranayama Continued

Today was the third Pranayama session. I hate saying it, but I feel like I'm struggling with not only doing Pranayama, but getting it as well. I feel like I don't remember anything from last class and this class refreshed my memory. We practiced Savasana and then Ujjayi and Viloma laying down. I would describe Ujjayi as one longer, deep, smooth inhalation follow by a pause and a longer, deep, smooth exhalation. I would describe Violma as dividing the breath in sections. So, before beginning a normal breath is needed followed by a Ujjayi inhalation and then exhaling all the air out. Now, in Violma when inhaling the breath it's inhaled from the pelvis region to the navel, a pause, and then continuing the inhalation from the pelvis region to the lower, a pause, and then continuing to breath from the lower chest to the upper chest, a pause, and then a slow and deep exhalation. This is Violma I. Violma II is done the same except the exhalations are divided and the inhalation is one breath. Violma III is both the inhalation and exhalation are divided. Of course, normal breathing cyclings are needed inbetween each Violma breath.

Now, where I get confused is the seated positioning and breathing techniques.

One of the techniques is: Bhramari. A deep Ujjayi inhalation and then a deep exhalation with a humming or murmuring sound like that of a bumble-bee. There is no retention of the breath.

Another is Sanmukhi Mudra in which use the fingers to keep out external sounds, lights, and other distractions. Placing the thumb-tips in the ear-holes, the fore and middle fingers to close the eyes, the middle finger tips to draw the upper lids down, and the fore-finger tips to cover reamining space above to keep out the light.

Last technique is called Digital Pranayama which is the placement of placing the fingers on the nose for even inhalation or exhalation. It's not just sticking one finger on one nostril and breathing, there more precision.

Now, none of these can be mastered until a good Savasana is achieved.

Pranayama

Finished my first Pranayama course yesterday afternoon. First thing my teacher says right after walking in is, that if you had an intense day, conversation, or feelings that you really won't reap the benefits of Pranayama. Unfortunate since so much was rumbling in my mind prior to class. She was right as we were setting the stage for the class, my mind was tired and ready to sleep.

Back to Pranayama. What is Pranayama? If you break down the word, Prana means Energy or Life Force and Yama means Control. Therefore Pranayama is the control of the breath.

In your face are four of the five sense organs. The eyes, the nose, the ears, and the mouth. We have these sense organs to relate ourselves to the external world. And receive messages so that we can respond to them. With pranayama, we detach ourselves from the external world. So we want to be aware of our sense organs to move inward instead of externally attached.

The breath, think about that for a moment. Breath is everything. According to the yogis, the first indicator that you are alive is from your first breath and when you die is when you've breathed your last breath. So, what happens when you contour the breath? If the breath gives you life force, what will happen when you slow it , contour, or even pay attention to it? That is what I am soon to find out...

In class we started with a discussion on cautions and warnings. Such as, not practicing prananyama on a full stomach or on an empty stomach (though I find that terribly difficult when practicing first thing in the morning before going to work). Also, not just anyone can start pranayama. It takes a well practiced Iynegar student to start practicing.

Always start pranayama with a good Savasana. Make sure that you are completely symmetrical which is sometimes hard since we are more stiff in certain sides of the body. Start with four blankets which were folded into thicker and wider rectangles. Can be folded into the narrow rectangles, but the wider one gives the body more space to rest easily. Two of these are placed longside for the torso to rest on. The other two blankets are folded an additional time for the head and neck to rest. The forehead must be higher than the chin. Open the chest. A good pranayama sessions lays so much attention on opening the chest.

With seated positions it is a good practice to first start out with two blankets folded on the floor right against the wall with your back up against it. Open the chest, let the head drop. I took a yoga wrap and placed it under the neck so that the head would drop, while making sure the chest would still be open. If the wrapped dropped, it was an indicator that I wasn't opening the chest.

We started with two different breathing exerices. The first called ujjayi. More on this next time....

More Personal Practice Notes...

After today practice with the girls. Not only am I not using my legs, but my arms, especially the triceps, fail to work in the poses. Just like the shins, the elbows are overflexible and make the thighs and arms slack. Before getting into Uttita Trikonasana, stand a little while longer with the legs spread apart and the arms outstretched. Bring my attention to the forearms and triceps. Face the palms up, toward the ceiling. This action engages those parts of the arms. Face the palms down again and while moving into the pose, keep this action of the arms. Fall into the pose. This is more helpful because my tendency is to just immediately fall into the pose and then work on perfecting it, whereas I should have it perfected even before falling into the pose and perfecting it, in the slightest. I do this in class and notice I am far behind everyone else because in class, we need to fall into the poses. Also, when in Uttitha Trikonasana, try facing the lower hand out to engage the triceps, like in Headstand. {A note on Headstand, pull the arms closer to the wall.}

I am told that I tighten my abs and diaphram in my poses. Why I am doing this? What can I do to loosen the grip?

Practice really basic poses like Tadasana with arms raised above the head. Also, look at the poses I'm good at and ask, "Why is this easy for me? What can I do to make it more difficult? What other muscles can I work on/ am neglecting? Why are the muscles working in this pose, but not in the others?"

More and more

There comes a time especially if you as undisciplined as I am, where you find something that you try to continually practice and feel as if you are getting nowhere. I find that time and time again in my pracitices with yoga. Getting bored, inconsistent, and very discouraged. That's where I realized I need to face some fears, one being, doing headstand in the middle of the room. One day in class most people set up by the wall and there was no room for me and I was just sick of it and did headstand in the middle of the room which may seem like nothing, but to me is everything. I was so afraid of it and tried to avoid it and became frustrated so often. I also realized I should incorporate more pranayama and floating. I guess it depends on why you do yoga, for physical or for something else. I choose the latter and find myself having to work on the breath and the mind a bit more. As far as floating is concerned, I floated once a few weeks ago. I am asked how I felt and I answer in this over excited way, but when I think back on how I felt in the tank, I don't think I liked it that much. I faced all kind of fears like death, maybe because of the book I was reading at the time about a man trying to avoid death and living for hundreds of years. Did I experience thing that most people feel while high on drugs? I more impressed with the idea of a tank. When I was in there, I felt like there was a complete new territory to explore. It's not that I never thought of death, life, being, living, the mind and its behaviors, and patterns, how the life that we live is nothing in comparrison of being completely free and still, I've thought these before, but when in the tank, it feels more direct, more personal, real, no bullshit, you're not reading it, but experiencing it. Could I handle this? Or should I just walk away saying that I just couldn't handle it. Or was I just not ready when I was younger, but now I am.

Fasting Time

Today is the first day of my juice fast. I ate nothing but fruits and vegetables the past two days with the occassional 3 chips, scoop of guacomole, and crackers. I have to tell you that just the prep work was really tough. There were moments especially when I was surrounded by people or just driving around, that I felt like I should quit. Luckily, when I was home alone I felt it was necessary to continue. Already on the first day I have a runny nose. I'm told that it is all in my head and that can be true, but it also can not. One strange thing already was the intense sharp pain in my left kidney which was quickly overcome by a visit the bathroom. Last night, I tried headstand and noticed an iimmediate difference. I believe because of the lightness of my body in regards to weight and clearity of mind, the asana was not just a struggle.

It's only 11AM, I'll have to see what happens later on in the day...

Back from India

My yoga teacher came back from India and this was her first class in 2 months. Still the rough, no bull-shit attitude she has always had which can be motivating and at times annoying. In class we practiced what I have been practicing mostly on my own: Adho Mukha Svasana, headstand, Utthita Trikonasana, Shoulderstand, etc. Just when you think you have a grasp on things, a teacher is there to always throw you off balance and realize that you dont know it all. Sure, I've made LONG strides in the last two months, but somehow I feel like I'm starting all over again. That's how it goes, I suppose. At times I have to say that I feel like I should quit, but then I say to myself that I need this focus and practice in my life, for I've spent it too long idle.

On another note: I never realized why my my right neck strains and hurts when I am in Utthita Trikonasana on the right side going down verses my left side??? We praciticed camel pose Usanasana (?) and I was told that my thighs move forward too much.

Sirasana

Finally did a headstand that I was proud of. Not much swaying, remained a good balance. Not too much strain, noticed to not put so much muscle into it. A friend said to me that it was a very difficult pose because you had to let go. No wonder headstand is the most difficult asana for me...I just can't let go.

Triceps are Finally Working

I'm trying to start practicing 6 days a week, but its hard since I work so far away and don't always get a chance to stop by home to practice. I managed it this week. I'm always practicing Adho Mukha Savasana, once with a bolster to learn how to open up the shoulders (needing this in my headstand), a belt for my double jointed arms (needing this in my handstands), and then a third time without any props. The bolster is also great to get my hands and feet working by pushing them both off the floor at the same time. I have to say that this is my favorite asana. I can really concentration and various parts of the body without being inverted, sitting, or standing. My headstand, Salamba Sirasana, is still lacking. I'm obviously tight in my right shoulder due to a knot there. I still find it a hard time to balance and am unsure where on top of the head the weight should lay on. My handstands are getting alot better. I'm not as afraid as I used to be on kicking up. Now I work on turning the triceps out and letting my hyperextensive elbows hit the belt (worked on in Adho Mukha Savasana). Utthita Trikonasana is getting better since Natasha showed be how to work on my hyperextended legs; an angled block under the calf. This makes it a MUCH better pose. Salamba Sarvangasanas are really getting ALOT better. I can really do a decent Halasana which ables me to place the lower body accordingly hence, I'm able to stay up alot longer. I don't freak out, get bored, or sweaty while up know. I can stay in the pose for 5-6 mintues. Worked mostly on arms in this practice. Still can't wrap my head around learning the Sanskrit names of the poses.

Back to Basics

Alright, I feel like going back to the beginning of The Tree of Yoga, (Note: I used "tree" in the blog title because of my nickname though I just now realized that "tree" is also in the title of the book I'll be writing about. How ironic.) Mr. Iyengar explains that Yoga is the union of the body with the mind and of the mind with the soul.

Yoga helps clean the soul. The body is lazy, the mind is vibrant, and the soul is luminous. While practicing asanas, the body develops into being just as vibrant as the mind. Together the two vibrant entities are guided to the soul. Science of the mind is called raja-yoga. Science of intelligence is jnana-yoga. Science of dut is karma-yoga. Science of will is hatha-yoga.

The word Hatha is translated to 'Ha' which means sun, the sun of your body which is your soul, and 'tha' which means moon, which is your consciousness. The energy of the sun never fades, whereas the moon fades every month and again from fading comes to fullness. The sun in all of us never fades, whereas the mind of or consciousness, which draws its energy from the soul, has fluctuations, modulation, moods, ups, downs, like the phases of the moon; it is like quicksilver, and as quicksilver cannot be caught by the hand, so we cannot easily cath hold of the mind. Yet when consciousness and the body are brought into union with one another, the energy of consciousness becomes still, and when the energy of consciousness is still, consciousness too is still, and the soul pervades the entire body.

Yoga is stilling of the mind and of the breath. The mind can go in many directions in a split second; movement fast and varied. But the breath cannot go in many directions at once. It has only one path: inhalation and exhalation. It can pause for a moment, but cannot multiply like the mind.

Controlling the breath and observing its rhythm brings the consciousness to stillness.


Eight limbs of yoga

yama

the root of the tree. comprises five principles of ahimsa (non-violence), satya (truthfulness), asteya (freedom from avarice), brahmacharya (control of sensual pleasure), and aparigraha (freedom from covetousness and possession beyond one's needs). observance of yama disciplines the five organs of actions: arms, legs, mouth, generation, and excretion. organs of action control the organs of perception of the mind

niyama

the trunk of yoga. comprises to the principles of saucha (cleanliness), santosa (contentment), tapas (ardour), svadhyaya (self-study, and Isvara-pranidhana (self-surrender).
control the organs of perception: eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and skin

asana

the branches which symbolize the various postures which bring the physical and physiological function of the body into harmony with the psychological pattern of yogic discipline.

pranayama

from the branches grow the leaves whose interaction with the air supplies energy to the whole tree. science of breath in which the respiratory and circulatory systems are brought into a harmonious state.

pratyahara

the bark, protection of the tree. mastery of asanas and pranayama helps the practitioner to detach the mind from the contact of the body, and this leads to automatically towards concentration and meditation. inward journey of the senses from the skin towards the core of the being.

dharana

the sap of the tree, the juice which carries energy on the inward journey. concentration, focusing the attention on the core of the being.

dhyana

blooming flowers. where the observer and the observed are one attained in meditation.

samadhi

fruit of the flower. essence of the tree is fruit, essence of the practice of yoga is in the freedom, pose, peace, and beatitude of samadhi, where the body, the mind and the soul are united and merge with the Universal Spirit.

*These are notes taken directly from "The Tree of Yoga."

Iyengar Yoga, My dear friends! - Pratyahara

Ah! At last my pretty little fingers can do what they do best: type! Not write! I have been meaning on writing my experiences, knowledge, thoughts, recollections, etc on my Iyengar yoga journey. Just today I was on a hunt for a notebook for my writings. I've even started a myspace account but didn't follow through at that since it did not feel right. I really need to write these thoughts down since I mostly forget and dont fully understand or digest important points and information on well, just about anything in life. If I write, I will remember, a key thing in being totally visual, and I can always look back and recollect my ideas and notes. I think of this blog as a notebook as well as a companion in this very long voyage. Instead of starting in the past, which I may at some point and that all depends on how I feel and what I feel about writing, I will start presently...

There is so much to talk, write, explain. For now I will talk of my readings and notes on this mornings chapters on Mr. B.K.S. Iyengar's "The Tree of Yoga," Shamabhala Classics. This chapter is called: "The Bark."

Iyengar calls "pratyahara" as the "bark" of the yoga, the yoga tree. [Ill go back later on.] Pratyahara is the withdrawal of the senses. You attain this when you are thoroughly and totally absorbed in your presentation of the asana, forgetting neither the flesh nor the senses. Therefore, the mind is completely silent and everything works in unison and from the very skin is drawn towards the soul.

Iyengar asks why we Westerns seperate the mind and the intellectual body. The mind gathers information whereas the intelligence has the power to discriminate right from wrong, and to reason clearly. Key point being that there is the fluctuating mind and the still and stabilised mind.

We all mostly live by memory and since memory triggers the mind and the mind is triggered by memory, we go for past experiences only. That is where pratyahara plays a key role in yoga, you have to make sure that memory gives the right response, not something impulsive that wasnt rightfully thought through.

Living primarily in memory is constantly searching for those experiences of enjoyments, regardless of your intelligence (remember the power to discriminate right from wrong, and to reason clearly) therefore basing facts on something already experience not something completely felt and understood in the moment. This is repetitive and is no longer able to excite the mind.

The act of going against the current of memory and mind is pratyahara. When the intelligence takes place, thoughts, instincts, and actions are weighed and energy is stored and used when necessary without depending on the boring and dull memory. New and fresh impressions are experienced. The consciousness is awakened instead of taking the back seat and letting memory ride all the way.

When the consciousness is cleansed from the clutches of thought-waves, it becomes highly sensitive, stainless, pure and absolute as the seer.

I don't really understand this next point, even Krishnamurti would talk many times of this: From then on, the consciousness realises that the preceiver, the instrument of perception, and the object to be perceived are the same and the mind can reflect without refraction or distortion.

Patanjali, from whos Yoga Sutras which yoga is based on, says that at this stage that the mind which is freed from memories, becomes ever alert, ever fresh, and ever wise.


What I learned from my previous practice:

At practice N showed me that in my handstand my left arm/shoulder is alot more flexiable than the right. The right is tight, probably because of the knot in my shoulder. This felt like a revelation. I never knew how much I had to pull on my right tricep in order to be straight and not lean on any side. This is the same for my downward facing dog, Adhu Mukha Svanasana. This must also be because my arms are double jointed and my elbows can bend farther than normal; my elbows are doing all the work so that my triceps can slack.

Shoulderstand, Sarvangasana, is getting alot better. I have been practicing that asana so long without blankets or any props that I really struggled with it. Thank god for Iyengar yoga. The last few times I managed to stay up quite a long time (6 minutes or so) without boredom, sweating, and struggle. I really have to free myself from fear, fear of falling. I could used some help in opening the chest. I guess that's next time.