There comes a time especially if you as undisciplined as I am, where you find something that you try to continually practice and feel as if you are getting nowhere. I find that time and time again in my pracitices with yoga. Getting bored, inconsistent, and very discouraged. That's where I realized I need to face some fears, one being, doing headstand in the middle of the room. One day in class most people set up by the wall and there was no room for me and I was just sick of it and did headstand in the middle of the room which may seem like nothing, but to me is everything. I was so afraid of it and tried to avoid it and became frustrated so often. I also realized I should incorporate more pranayama and floating. I guess it depends on why you do yoga, for physical or for something else. I choose the latter and find myself having to work on the breath and the mind a bit more. As far as floating is concerned, I floated once a few weeks ago. I am asked how I felt and I answer in this over excited way, but when I think back on how I felt in the tank, I don't think I liked it that much. I faced all kind of fears like death, maybe because of the book I was reading at the time about a man trying to avoid death and living for hundreds of years. Did I experience thing that most people feel while high on drugs? I more impressed with the idea of a tank. When I was in there, I felt like there was a complete new territory to explore. It's not that I never thought of death, life, being, living, the mind and its behaviors, and patterns, how the life that we live is nothing in comparrison of being completely free and still, I've thought these before, but when in the tank, it feels more direct, more personal, real, no bullshit, you're not reading it, but experiencing it. Could I handle this? Or should I just walk away saying that I just couldn't handle it. Or was I just not ready when I was younger, but now I am.
